Still no place to live. Still no clue what we are going to do or should do. I can't imagine being away from Gwyn but I can't leave Rory homeless. It's not a choice, its not fair. It makes me crazy. It make me want to kick and scream. I want to go and yell at the people who get things given to them and still aren't happy about it. UGH. I get the concept of life's not fair, and I don't expect it to be for me. My girls deserve to be close to each other and it just seems like that isn't going to get to happen.

Rabbit got her ears pierced today. She cried but still let them do the other one. I am proud of her. She didn't get up and run away. She did great. It hurt more than everyone else was telling her it would. I tried to be honest and let her know that it did hurt a little. She also got her hair dyed. She said she wanted to yesterday and she picked out the color. Its cute, and red. Looks like her natural hair color. Pooh did a 'science' experiment from school. She did a volcano, with paper mache and baking soda and vinegar. We did it together and it was way to much fun. We built it and then painted it. Tons of fun. She said her whole class loved it. It was just so nice to share it with her. That we got to do it together. Mommy is good at school stuff and enjoys doing the projects with her.

My pump site is still killing me. Hurts like hell. I really have no clue when its going to stop hurting. When it going to ease up. When am I not going to have to be totally doped up just to get off the couch and go to the bathroom?? I need to get to my Drs. I was suppose to do a 6mintue walk this week. Still haven't been able to get down, doubt my car is going to make it. This is where being here is not good for my health. There is no one here who will take me in for free and do my 6mintue walk to see if this medicine is helping at all. Of course its been a month and a half and I've had to change my site 4 times. When it is suppose to stay in for 3months. Doesn't sound like a fix to me.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep"

sometimes I just want to go to sleep.


  1. Anonymous4.5.12

    I wish I could take your pain away. And make everything better.

  2. Thank You. I wouldn't wish this upon the person I hated the most. But It's been so long I have forgot what 'normal' feels like.