11.17.2008

Working

I have just started a job a few days ago, I am very proud of myself. I know it sounds kinda sad, being 25 and happy that you have a job. Given that I haven't worked in almost a year this was a HUGE step for me. A very needed step. I had gotten to the point that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to support myself again. I don't know if I am going to be totally able to support myself with this one job, considering I am only getting 25 hours a week but it is a step, right? After being denied my SSI there wasn't much choice. None of the doctors I could afford to see would say that I would never be able to work again, if only they need how much stress affects me. Guess none of that matters now. I have a job and hopefully it won't run me into the ground.
As far as the rest of my life, well.... I miss my girls. Both are with their fathers right now. So I don't get night night hugs and all those wonderful things. I feel like a bad mother but I knew if I had stayed where I was at I would be sick constantly. I haven't felt as good as I do now in almost a year. Physically I am doing so so so much better. It doesn't take me and hour to get out of bed. Hell some morning I can almost 'bound' out of bed and into the shower. The last time I 'bounded' anywhere was years ago! And honestly I will admit that I may have been doing it to myself but either way it is getting better.

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