Mommy's Broken: Life with Lupus: To eat or not to eat?

7.03.2009

To eat or not to eat?

I hate it when my stomach is to messed up to eat. I'm not hungry, but I feel like I'm starving. Whenever I feel I should eat I end up feeling like I am going to throw up. I MISS FOOD! It's doing great things for my waist line.
My 4th of July weekend is going to suck! On top of the usual lupus, i'm on my period and the best thing of all I have two ear infections! In fact I think my ear drum has busted in one ear. This makes me less hungry.
I am still excited about starting college in the fall. I have decided to get my BA in English and then go for my Masters.

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Why Mommy's Broken?

I have two little girls. Trying to get them to understand that Mommy isn't like all the other Mommies is much harder than you'd think. Doing it while trying not to scare them is even harder. I wanted to give them something they would understand on their level but wouldn't be lost on someone else. So I started by telling them that Mommy was broken, as to not tell them I am sick. Sick people get better, mommy doesn't. There are days when Mommy can get up and run around and do all those wonderful things; But there are days when Mommy has to stay in bed and rest. They have been able to take this information and be at ease about Mommy not being 'normal' or 'healthy'. Now I have a new challange of trying to let them know that mommy is not going to get to live as long as most other people. Telling your kids you are going to die is alot harder than you'd think.